This country never ceases to fascinate. I’ve noticed many things on this trip; many too short to blog, so instead, here’s a stream of consciousness.
1.
This country is obsessed with order, ritual and precision. Everyone wears a uniform. Security guards and cleaning staff are decked out head-to-toe in custom uniforms. The salarymen all wear variations on the same suit. Even the teenagers here all seem to collapse into the same look.
This also manifests itself in odd ways. For instance, the construction sites here are the cleanest things you have ever seen. Note the equally spaced barriers ringing the sites:
Similarly, I watched a security guard at another construction site walking around picking up individual cigarette butts with tongs; no broom for him.
Equally baffling is the habit of staff on trains to bow as they enter and exit each car. The process of selling you coffee or checking your tickets involves endless rounds of bowing.
2.
This country is incredibly safe and crime free.
You see almost no graffiti. There are no guards in the museums (versus one per room in most North American museums). There are fire extinguishers everywhere on the smaller streets (would have been stolen ages ago in Canada). They even print your room number on the key to your hotel room:
3.
When it rains in Shinjuku at night you are forgiven for thinking that, just for one second, you might actually be in Blade Runner .
4.
The toilets here are out of control. Not only do they have bidets and a spray built in, some also make a flushing sound on demand, enabling you to avoid some of the less delicate human noises. Many have warming seats.
Also, one toilet I used actually robotically controlled its lid. I flushed it (lid up) and it closed the lid and then raised it again before flushing it. I’ve no idea why, but, I for one, will work with our future robot toilet overlords.
5.
The Tokyo metro is an experience in and of itself.
No one talks and it is almost preternaturally quiet. People may be listening to music on their headphones, but they keep the volume so low that you can’t hear.
Many people sleep. Others read. Sometimes they read manga porn. That’s okay and no one judges (or, if they do, they’re doing it in their own silent Japanese way). Here’s a photo of a guy reading his manga porn next to a sleeping woman:
The service is also impeccable. We were in the train when a guard ran on and picked someone’s suit jacket off the rack above the seats (yes, they have racks). He asked anyone if it was theirs; upon hearing ‘no’, he ran off the train and began speaking frantically into his walkie talkie.
Seemed like someone had mentioned that they’d forgot their jacket on the train and mere minutes later it was being picked up for them. MTA, you’ve got a long way to go.
6.
There are no garbage cans anywhere. You’re supposed to bring your own trash home – even if you’re at the park. You can find some garbage cans next to vending machines or in convenience stores, but that’s it.
7.
You can eat at any restaurant in Japan and you know the food will be clean. A chef would be permanently dishonoured if one of his guests got sick from his food.
Despite that, just about every restaurant we’ve eaten at would fail a health inspection in North America.
The kitchens are crowded nasty affairs. In a noodle bar, raw food sits in bowls astride the patrons waiting to be cooked. Cigarette smoke ventilates into the kitchen. There’s only one sink in the kitchen and it’s used for everything. And none of that matters.
8.
The alien nature of Japan is hammered home to you most notably when you experience something Western that’s been redone through a Japanese lens. I went into Fedex Kinko’s to print some paper and all was normal until they handed me my printed documents.
In an envelope that was sealed with a special Kinko’s sticker:
I had a similar moment when I saw an ad for Coke Zero:
I’m pretty sure that you will never see Coke Zero positioned as “wild health” in North America (or that anyone would want to see that).
9.
There is more unnecessary packaging here than anywhere else I have ever been. Everything is double wrapped in plastic.
10.
We went in to a supermarket. In an effort to sell different foods, they were sampling salad. Nobody here eats Western food.
11.
People in Tokyo are immaculately put together. There is nary a loose end or a frayed cuff in sight. Even their jeans are perfect: I didn’t see one single rear pant leg that had ever come into contact with pavement.
12.
There is an obsession with labour-saving devices here. If you lived on a tiny island with an aging population, you’d probably think that same way too. The most bizarre example of this so far is a machine that automatically puts plastic sheets over your wet umbrella. I didn’t even know I needed it (see unnecessary packaging above).
13.
We were walking through Ginza (Tokyo’s fashionable shopping district) and drifted past an Abercrombie & Fitch store. For those who haven’t seen one, they represent the pinnacle of confused adolescent hormones run mad.
When we were in NYC, the Fifth Avenue flagship shop had a queue outside and inside it was all black with pounding music – meant to mimic a nightclub. The entrance was framed by a huge shirtless black & white photo of a perfect American youth with chiseled abs. Guarding the entrance were two equally good looking all-Americans wearing A&F’s traditional jeans-and-plaid outfits.
They’ve got exactly the same setup in Tokyo. Same queue. Same poorly lit shop with bad music. Same photo of American Boy ™. Even the clothes on the ‘bouncers’ are the same.
Except they’re Japanese and waif thing, making the whole thing even more ridiculous.
14.
Napkins are the garbage cans of restaurants; they are nowhere to be seen. In fact, I have yet to see a Japanese person spill anything while eating. It’s no that they’re perfect at eating, it’s that if you held your bowl to your face and slurped noodles from an inch away you’d be hard pressed to spill too.
15.
There are maps all around Tokyo. North is usually down. It’s hard enough to find your way around Tokyo (what with the medieval layout and non-Latin script), but holding your map upside down to orient yourself with the “you are here” pin on the sign is just punishing (and probably quite amusing for the locals).
16.
Many utility trucks (e.g., the phone company’s service trucks) drive around and broadcast messages continuously from a speaker mounted on the truck. I have no idea what they’re saying, but I’d like to imagine that it’s something like “Remember that the Emperor’s greatest virtue is his filial piety. All Japanese youth should…”
17.
Many Japanese restaurants display plastic replicas of their meals outside their doors:
And it’s not just the main course; dessert too:
I want to bring this tradition to my apartment in North America. When I have guests over for a dinner party, I will prepare a tray of plastic dishes. I’ll walk from guest to guest, showing them the tray and bowing in front of them as they acknowledge the presence of the plastic trinkets.
18.
We went out for dinner at a traditional izakaya (think Japanese pub; lots of wood and sake bottles everywhere). It could have been a scene from 500 years ago, until a couple sat down next to us and whipped out their iPad and cellphone. He placed the iPad in front of him and surfed the web for the entire meal. She did the same on her cellphone.
I think they exchanged maybe thirty words, and even then it was only to show each other stupid things they’d found on the Internet.
Oh to be young and in love in Japan…
19.
This country loves manga. We went to the manga museum (more a library than a museum…) and learned a bit more about it.
Did you know that in 2008, the Japanese spent roughly as much on manga as fast food? That’s a serious commitment to Shonen Jump.
Here are some interesting milestones:
- 1917: first domestic animation
- 1932: Norakuro (also called Narkuro Jotohei) is published by Tagawa Suiho
- 1947-1955: akahon (little red book) pulp fiction boom in Japan. Coincides with rise of book rental stores
- 1963: creation of Astro Boy by Osamu Tezuka
- 1960s/70s: Fujio Akatsuka pushes the boundaries of what can be in a manga. Introduces many new graphic styles
- 1973: first anime classes at Kyoto University
- 1983: word otaku is defined
The museum inadvertently betrayed a bit about Japanese culture:
- A section describes the varying thickness of mangas in different areas of Japan. They state “the thickness of the books is not unrelated to the reading speeds of readers from each national region“. It’s very competitive here.
- There’s a section on fanzines (fans creating their own manga based on popular characters) and the section on fanzines aimed at adults is basically porn. However, the museum shows one group aimed at men (two girls on the cover) and one aimed at women (two guys holding each other on the cover). Come on Japan, I’m pretty sure that women do not want to read about guys making out. It’s for gay people. You should feel comfortable saying that (which, the Japanese are not – I haven’t seen one openly gay person yet).
Another great point learned: manga is not all about samurai, spies or intergalactic travel. Most in painstakingly mundane stuff like tennis or seeing a girl on the subway.
20.
When you arrive in Japan nothing makes sense. When you leave, it all retrospectively makes total sense. It’s because Japan is a cultural and technological Galapagos. They’ve literally created everything themselves and it’s totally obvious to them how it works and they can’t understand why anyone would (or would want to do anything differently).
For example, consider the machine below:
It’s the ticket machine for the subway. It looks bafflingly complex – and it is the first time you use it.
The trick is that you need to put your money in first before it will do anything. This is the complete opposite of how it works everywhere else in the world, so non-Japanese spend most of their time quivering in front of the machine.
Once you put your money in, the black buttons light up to show you which fairs you can choose based on the money inserted. Want more than one ticket? Select the number at the upper right and the black buttons refresh to show you any changes as to what you can pick.
All completely unintelligible to a non-Japanese but retrospectively makes a lot of sense.
21.
Male vanity is everywhere in this country. In Harujuku you’ll see lots of guys lined up for store sales. On the train we saw a guy putting on makeup. In fact, there was even a line of makeup aimed at men. It’s hilarious to see; what would the shogun of yore think!
22.
How much of a premium is space in this super-dense country? Check out these seats at the Mickey D’s in the Kyoto train station:
23.
This country has a real sweet tooth and some of the absolute best candies. I recommend any of the following:
- Crunky: think puffed rice in chocolate, not southern hip hop
- Lotte Chocolat (sic) Dessert: science has managed to recreate the taste and texture of a chocolate banana crepe inside a tiny marble-sized ball of chocolate
- Plus Mint Chocolate: heavy chocolate wrapped in a minty shell
- Muji Yogurt-Covered Cherries: simple compared to these other foods, but they do the trick