One of the simultaneously silliest and greatest trends to emerge from the 21st century’s fetishization of technology is the notion of “unboxing“. The combination of blogs and online video and cheap digital cameras now allow young male otaku to document in clinical detail the experience of opening the box of a new gadget.
There are whole sites dedicated to capturing this techno-narcissim in all its glory. Apple‘s various products are the clear winners in the unboxing sweepstakes, accounting for almost half of the google hits on the topic-which seems appropriate given their leadership in turning us into techno-gear-fetishists.
I would like to take this moment to try and move the dialogue around unboxing forward and move it into a new domain.
Chocolate.
I recently procured a bespoke chocolate from Ritter Sport (this is an obnoxious way of saying that I went to the company store, waited in line with the other tourists/unemployed people for half an hour and bought an overpriced chocolate) and now you can share with me in the unboxing experience.
Here it is, my brand new, customized chocolate. My fingers are trembling as I look at it on the table. It really is my chocolate creation:
Before opening the box, let’s look at one of the accessories: the ingredient list. Nothing says sophistication like adding candied strawberry, crunch cereal, candied yoghurt and mini smarties to already sweetened milk chocolate. No one will mistake my gourmet palate for that of, say, a Chef Boyardee loving four-year-old.
The gentle tab at the back of the box gave away easily under my finger and yielded the first view of my chocolate payload:
Notice that careful fold. It’s German craftsmanship matched only by the careful placement of the sticker on the reverse:
Bunte Schokowelt is not the outcome of some sort of Germanic physical altercation, but rather means “colourful chocolate world”. And all the colour is revealed by my first glimpse of the chocolate. The underside’s texture hints at the range of flavour about to be experienced:
And, flipping it over, here’s the pinnacle of chocolate engineering:
Internet, I hope you realize what a profound shared experience we just had. This is not navel-gazing on my account whatsoever, rather it’s me increasing our universe’s stock of knowledge.
Bon appetit.
(And in all seriousness, the chocolate was delicious – if a bit sweet – and I highly recommend getting your own one made)